


Adam Lambert's Addams Family Holiday

by house_of_lantis



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, American Idol RPF
Genre: Fester, Gomez - Freeform, Grandmama, Lurch - Freeform, M/M, Morticia - Freeform, Pugsley - Freeform, Thing - Freeform, Wednesday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-05
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-24 08:29:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/house_of_lantis/pseuds/house_of_lantis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam loves being part of the Addams family – on his mom’s side, of course – and loves their quirky, eccentric, and macabre lifestyle. When they opened their home to him so that he could escape the limelight for a few months, he never imagined that he would have so much fun…and fall in love with the cute missionary boy living in the dungeon.</p><p>Kradam/The Addams Family Crossover!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All Addams family characters belong to Charles Addams. Just playing in the sandbox.
> 
> Comedic gore, nothing too explicit, total crack!fic fun.

Note: Total self-indulgence on my part. After watching the Addams Family movies while sick this week, this idea wouldn't leave me alone! LOL!

*********

 **The Addams Residence  
0001 Cemetery Lane  
Westfield, New Jersey **

_Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc._ We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.

With a family motto like that, who needed to be afraid of anything?

The last time Adam visited Uncle Gomez and Aunt Morticia Addams was when he was eight and Neil was six. They loved the big, black ornate Victorian mansion, filled with all kinds of dark and gloomy delights. They loved getting lost in the secret passageways and underground moat and playing Wake the Dead with Uncle Fester in the cemetery. They loved playing with knives and swords, dueling each other all throughout the house, and stabbing each other in the stomach. It never hurt and there wasn’t any blood – Adam knew even back then that that wasn’t “normal” and he and Neil could never play like this when they were back home.

He had the best memories of being at the Addams house. It was like everything about Uncle Gomez and Aunt Morticia were imprinted on him from the very beginning. He loved the dark clothes of his Aunt and he loved how his Uncle had this flare and sense of joy about him. While Neil was in the attic trying to guillotine his limbs, Adam was in Uncle Gomez’s closet, trying on brocade vests and silk cravats and velvet smoking jackets. He painted his eyes black and his mouth red. He danced and made up songs and sang them for the family while Lurch played the organ. Aunt Morticia made them black velvet cupcakes and Grandmama would sneak arsenic sprinkles on top of them…sometimes, she’d toss some dried wormwood on them, too, especially if he and Neil were very good – like that time when they buried Uncle Fester and Thing alive in the cemetery for three whole days.

Sometimes, Grandmama would teach him spells and make potions. He would beg her to dye his hair black, but no matter how many times she tried, his hair would return to its normal ginger when it was time for him to go back home.

Adam always knew their family was a little…different, but he could never put his finger on the reasons why everyone else was so dull and he and the Addams family were so much fun. Leila used to smooth down his ugly orange hair – the curse of the Lambert bloodline, Grandmama used to say – and kiss his forehead and tell him stories of Great Aunt Calpernia dancing naked in the town square and seducing ministers. Adam kind of wanted to grow up and dance naked in a town square and seduce a minister.

 _“But only after you finish school,” Leila scolded gently, smiling at him._

Now, he was twenty-eight and Uncle Gomez and Aunt Morticia invited him back to their home, a place of sanctuary and privacy, to give him a chance to rest from a whirlwind three years of non-stop singing, dancing, and touring – and while he didn’t seduce ministers, he did seduce a lot of pretty boys. A lot. The Addams clan didn’t understand his music, but they were all very proud of his successes and they understood the need to just hide from the sunshine of the world.

Lurch pulled the car to the gate and Adam leaned out the window, a wide smile on his face as he looked at the old mansion. From the outside, it looked dilapidated, like it was about to shudder and collapse on itself. But Adam knew that the house was 350 years old and could never be destroyed. The foundations went for miles underground, hiding the massive Addams family vault, the moat, and Fred, the dragon.

 _Opps! No one was supposed to know about Fred._

“I can’t believe I’m back! It’s been way too long,” he said, patting Lurch on the shoulder.

The tall, pale family butler made a growly sound of agreement and Adam nearly fell out of the car in his haste to get out. He looked up to the double doors and saw the entire family coming out to meet him.

“Adam, old man!” Gomez called, opening his arms wide. Adam ran up the stairs to hug the man who was always like a father to him. He inhaled the scent of rich cigars and arsenic and bit his lip to keep from crying in joy. “Old sport! Look how you’ve grown, like a weed that won’t die!”

“Thanks for letting me hide out for a few months, Uncle Gomez.”

“Nonsense, nephew, _mi casa es su casa_ ,” he said, jovially, patting Adam’s back. He looked him up and down. “I say you’re looking well. Staying out of trouble, have you?”

“No way,” Adam said, laughing. “I’m too smart to get caught.”

Gomez laughed heartily, putting his cigar into his mouth.

Adam turned to the tall, thin, and elegant woman who would always be more than just an Aunt to him. She was like a Queen of the Goths – he knew from looking at the 3,000 year old family tree that Uncle Gomez, Aunt Morticia, and his mom came from royal vampire bloodlines – they didn’t have to drink blood anymore, though he was sure that Aunt Morticia liked hers with a little bit of rat poison and garnished with rose thorns. Very carefully, Adam hugged her, not because she was fragile but because he knew her black gown would have razors sewn into the lace and Adam really hated getting nicked.

“Aunt Morticia, you look as perfect as the night with a blood moon,” he said, kissing her pale, cold cheek lightly.

“My dear, Adam, you have become a man,” she purred at him, her black eyes narrowing at the sight of his pale neck.

“A real man’s man, I bet!”

Adam turned and hugged Uncle Fester, lifting him clear into the air and shaking him like a doll. “Uncle Fess, I missed you the most!”

“Just wait until you see all the new toys I’ve been making,” Fester said, giggling. “Ever since I heard that you’ll be staying with us, I’ve got a whole host of fun and amazing things that we can play with in the cemetery.”

Adam laughed, setting the shorter man on the ground. “I can’t wait.”

He turned to look at Wednesday and Pugsley, holding out his hand. “Hello, I’m Adam Lambert, your Uncle.”

The serious girl gave him a look over, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “I remember you used to paint my fingernails when I was a baby.”

He took her hand and looked at her stained and ragged nails. “Oh honey, I’m going to give you a manicure tonight. I just got a whole new set of black polish that’ll look great on your hands.”

Her dark eyes flickered for an instant and Adam knew that his niece was quite pleased on the inside. He turned and held out his hand to Pugsley. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” the younger boy said, a sweet smile on his face. In an instant, he let out a loud yell and came after Adam with a 12-inch blade but Adam merely sidestepped him, watching as Pugsley tumbled down the front steps. “Ow.” He turned and looked up at Adam, tucking his long blade away somewhere under his black and white striped tee-shirt. “Uncle Fester said that you weren’t going to be easy to kill.”

Adam smirked. “I’m not. But you can try.”

“Okay.”

“Well, come inside, my dear boy,” Gomez said, putting his arm on Adam’s shoulders and leading him into the house. “Lurch has your old room ready for you. Grandmama is in the kitchens so I know you’ll want to go see her when you’re unpacked.”

“Oh, and we do have another guest staying with us,” Morticia murmured, her hand on Gomez’s shoulder. “You can meet him later.”

“Sure,” he said, nodding.

“He likes to scream,” Wednesday said, a small smirk on her lips.

Adam chuckled. They were probably doing their best to kill the poor bastard, whoever he is. Well…not really _kill_ but have their kind of fun with him. Adam would have to hang out with the two of them later and see what kind of fun the three of them could come up with.

“Dinner is at six and we’ll have it in the dining room to welcome you back.”

“Thanks, Uncle Gomez,” Adam said, smiling at him. “I’m a little tired, but I’m going to say hello to Grandmama and then take a little nap.”

“Good, good,” Gomez said, taking Morticia’s hand and leading her into the library. “Caramia…”

Adam smiled, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He loved the smell of old wood and citrus and something metallic of the house. It was so wonderful to be back and he couldn’t wait to find all of his favorite places in the house…and all the old experiments that he and Neil had set up all those years ago.

***

Adam woke up from his pleasant nap to see Wednesday standing over him, a small smile on her lips. Pugsley stood at the foot of his bed, pulling on a thick rope. Adam looked at his arms and legs, stretched out on the wide bed, tied with rope, and pulled in different directions. He let out a pleased groan when Pugsley pulled at the rope, his arms and legs pulled from their joints and then snapping in again.

“Yeah, that’s awesome, I needed a good stretch,” he said, panting up at the ceiling. He shook his hands and the knots came undone. With a smirk, he sat up and undid the knots at his ankles. He stood up and stretched out his back, his bones cracking and snapping into place. “Thanks, guys, that was great. I really needed that.”

“Mother said to wake you for dinner,” Wednesday murmured, glancing up at him.

Pugsley held up his collection of black tee-shirts. “Uncle Adam, can I have one from your Mega Glam tour?”

“You bet. I brought you guys some gifts. How about if I give them to you after dinner?” He said, wrapping his arms around his niece and nephew, leading them out of his room and into the hallway. “So who is this mysterious guest that’s going to join us?”

“His name is Kristopher,” Wednesday said, looking up at him.

“She’s got a crush on him,” Pugsley added, snickering.

“I do not.”

“Ohhh really?” Adam said, chuckling. “Is he cute?”

“He’s utterly boring.”

Pugsley snickered again, pulling on her long braid hard enough to jerk her head back. “She likes him because he plays the guitar and sings.”

Adam was very curious about Kristopher. “And is he like us?”

“He’s very pretty,” Pugsley said, agreeably.

“But, quite dull. He bleeds a lot. Mother says that we mustn’t make him bleed.”

“Yeah, you guys probably shouldn’t,” he said, wryly.

They walked into the dining room to find the rest of the family sitting at their usual places. Adam took his place by Aunt Morticia, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“Good nap? Did you have any nightmarish dreams?” Gomez said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I could sleep like the dead. The kids gave me a stretch.”

Morticia grinned. “I’m so glad that the children enjoy your company, Adam. Gomez showed them some of our old home movies when you used to visit us.”

Adam laughed, shaking his head. He touched his now black hair and rolled his eyes. “Don’t scare them, Uncle Gomez. The red hair is pretty horrifying.”

“Pardon me for being late. I got lost in the dungeons again.”

“Hah! Kristopher, old man, you made it!”

“The dungeons can be quite…treacherous,” Morticia said, smiling.

“The children drew me a map but it keeps leading me into the lower levels and I almost got eaten by the dragon again,” the boy murmured. “I’m sure I’m not reading it right.”

Wednesday and Pugsley snickered softly.

Adam turned to look at the young man as he took a seat across from Adam, smiling warmly with a flush to his cheeks.

“Kristopher, this is Adam Lambert, our nephew. His mother is Gomez’s and Fester’s younger sister,” Morticia said, waving her hand at Adam. “This is Kristopher Allen of Conway, Arkansas.”

The young man smiled at him and Adam swallowed down his lust. He was shorter than Adam with brown hair and brown eyes. Pugsley was right, the boy was very pretty. Except he wore the ugliest green and yellow plaid shirt.

“There’s something on your shoulder,” Adam said, watching as Kris tried to look over his shoulder.

“Oh, dang it, the dragon got me,” Kris said, sighing as he slipped his fingers through the burn marks. “And this was my favorite shirt, too.”

“I think Fred likes you,” Morticia said, smiling demurely at him. “He hardly ever breathes fire on anyone unless he likes them.”

“Kristopher is staying with us for the summer,” Gomez said, looking at the young man. “He’s a missionary and his church assigned him to our family for three whole months. I feel like we’re honored to have him here – such special treatment from the church. He’s like an ambassador!”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kristopher,” Adam said, softly.

“You can call me Kris,” the young man said, putting the cloth napkin on his lap.

“How long have you been here?”

“Just two weeks,” he said, looking over at the children. “The Addamses have been very kind to me.”

Adam smirked. _I bet they have._ Little Christian missionary boy probably thought they were all possessed by demons and he was going to bring a little bit of salvation to the Addams family. It was too bad that he didn’t understand that the Addams clan were very religious – it just wasn’t a Christian religion.

“How long are you staying?” Kris said, looking up at him under his lashes.

“Just a few months,” he said, licking his lips. “I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun together.”

Wednesday and Pugsley exchanged looks and snickered.

“Children, don’t be rude at the dinner table,” Morticia said, softly.

“Yes, Mother,” they said, looking at her.

Lurch wheeled in the gurney holding plateful after plateful of Adam’s favorite dishes. He grinned and looked down the table at Grandmama. “You spoil me. Those are all of my favorites!”

“We need to fatten you up,” she said, winking at him and showing him a mouthful of rotted teeth. “All the better to eat you up later.”

Adam laughed as Kris turned a deep red. “You do know that she’s only kidding, right?”

Kris pressed his lips together and blinked up at him. “Of course. I’m…getting used to the Addams family’s…sense of humor.”

“Like I said, he’s dull,” Wednesday intoned, staring at Kris.

Morticia sighed. “Wednesday, dear, please.”

“Yes, Mother,” she said, sliding her eyes to Kris. “I won’t be rude at the dinner table.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” She smiled at Kris. “You must not take it personally, Kristopher, she’s just at that age.”

Kris cleared his throat and smiled. “Yes, well, I guess we were all a little rebellious at that age. It’s okay, I have a younger brother so I’m used to being teased and pranked all the time.”

Adam snorted and then coughed to hide it. Well, if anything, Kris was very diplomatic and polite.

“Ahhh, everything looks wonderful,” Gomez said, smiling widely at his plate. “Shall we—“

Kris cleared his throat meaningfully. “Could I say a prayer first?”

They sighed, setting down their utensils, watching as Kris closed his eyes and bowed his head. Adam watched with amusement as Pugsley hurled a knife at him but Morticia plucked it out of the air before it could hit Kris. Wednesday merely smiled, putting Cleitus the Tarantula on Kris’s plate. Adam sighed and reached over to take the tarantula away, putting him on top of his own hair, letting the tarantula find a cozy place to snuggle down in. She narrowed her eyes at him and Adam winked back. Morticia merely raised her eyebrow at Gomez who shrugged and grinned at her in return. Grandmama rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair. Uncle Fester leaned forward, watching Kris curiously.

“Let us thank God for food when others are hungry; for drink when others are thirsty; for friends when others are lonely. Amen.” Kris looked up and smiled at everyone, never having noticed anything that went on around him during his prayer. “Okay.”

“Fantastic. Mange! Mange!” Gomez called, heartily.

“Kristopher, this prayer to your God – is he unspeakably cruel that you should dedicate your meals and friends to him?” Fester said, his eyes bright with curiosity.

Kris’s eyes widened. “Oh no. No, nothing like that. God is nothing but loving to all of his people.”

“Do you sacrifice humans on his altar?” Wednesday inquired, softly.

“Um, no. Though in the Bible, there was the story of Abraham offering to sacrifice his favorite son, Isaac, because God asked him.”

“When does this God require human sacrifice? And does it always have to be a son? Can it be a daughter? Or a brother? Perhaps a third cousin!” Gomez said, cheerfully.

“Oh yes, one of Gomez’s distant cousins often sacrificed to the fire gods,” Morticia said, nodding gently. “It’s not unheard of in our clan and I know you wish for us to know more about your religion. We share many common traits, I believe.”

Kris shook his head. “No, no, um, there’s no human sacrifice. It’s—it’s supposed to be an allegory…that…that Abraham was willing to show obedience to God and because he was obedient, God didn’t require him to sacrifice his son.”

“I see,” Morticia murmured, gazing at him. “And do you still not find his behavior to be cruel and capricious?”

Kris opened his mouth and stared at her. “Um…no?”

They stared at him for a long moment.

Adam laughed, sitting back in his chair. This was probably one of the best dinner conversations he had ever heard! “All I can say is that it’s really good to be back!”

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Correction: Adam is actually Wednesday’s and Pugsley’s cousin, not uncle, since Adam’s mom is the younger sister to Gomez and Fester.

When Adam suggested that they should take a walk through the family cemetery, he didn’t think Kris would smile so widely and agree. But he was happy for the company and they strolled along the old pathway through the plot, the moon full and bright above them. It was pathetically romantic, Adam thought, as he looked over at Kris, who ducked his head and had his hands in his pockets, talking about missionary work all over the world.

He heard footsteps and looked over his shoulder to see one of Wednesday’s braids swing around the corner of a headstone. He quirked his lips into a smile and rolled his eyes.

Kris trailed off, his voice turning quiet and Adam turned to see him staring at the headstone of what seemed like an altar with a man holding a butcher knife in one hand, a big smile on his face.

“I…ummm…that’s interesting.”

“Hmm? Oh, that’s Arkessa Addams, originally from Poland,” Adam said, walking towards the headstone. “Arkessa was a cannibal. They say that he ate 23 people before he was discovered.”

“A cannibal?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, sighing. “You know, they based Hannibal the Cannibal on Arkessa Addams.”

“Really?”

“No.” He deadpanned.

Kris laughed, rolling his eyes.

“But Arkessa Addams really was a cannibal.”

“When I was on my mission trips, I met with people who practiced ritual cannibalism,” Kris said, thoughtfully. “And if you think about the symbolism in Christianity – you know, the Communion of Christ’s body and blood – some could argue that that’s cannibalism, too.”

Adam turned and looked at Kris. “You’re really kind of cool about things. Most people would’ve freaked out by now and run out of here screaming.”

“Every family has their own way of doing things – rituals, religious beliefs and practices, customs, foods,” Kris said, shrugging. “I’m not here to judge anyone, just spread the Word.” He lifted his head and smiled up at Adam. “Do you believe in God, Adam?”

“I’m Jewish.”

Kris blinked. “Oh.” He laughed and shook his head, putting his hand on Adam’s arm. “Seriously, okay, sometimes I feel like you’re all just messing with me.”

“I’m Jewish because my mom married my dad and she converted,” he said, shrugging. “The rest of the Addamses…well…they’re more superstitious than religious.”

There were giggles behind them and Adam turned to see Wednesday, Pugsley, and Uncle Fester ducking behind one of the tombs, trying to stifle their giggles.

“All right, come out!” Adam called, chuckling. “It’s not like you guys were being all that sneaky.”

There were more loud giggles and they watched as Uncle Fester, Wednesday and Pugsley ran through the cemetery away from them. Adam sighed and shook his head. He grabbed Kris’s arm gently as he took a step.

“Mind your feet, Kris, I think they probably booby-trapped the way back.”

Kris’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to Adam, pressing against him. Adam smiled, wrapping his arm around Kris’s shoulders. It wasn’t like he minded having Kris pressing close against him. He liked boys like Kris – younger, smaller, cuter – and a part of him was wondering how he was going to seduce good boy Kris into his bed for the rest of the summer.

Adam kicked a large rock at what looked like a bump on the dirt path. Kris gave a loud yelp – Adam could hear the children and Uncle Fester giggling louder – and nearly jumped against Adam, hiding his face against his chest. The small explosion left a hole about five inches wide on the ground, dirt and grass and dead bugs flying everywhere.

“Well, at least they used a land mine and not the C-4.”

“Seriously, do they really hate me that much?”

Adam stroked his hand down Kris’s head. “Baby, they _like_ you.”

“Right—“

“If they didn’t like you, you’d already be dead…or missing a few limbs,” he said, smiling widely at him. “This is all just playful teasing on their part.”

Kris swallowed and Adam followed the movement of his throat, imagining what that would feel like when Kris did that with Adam’s cock in his mouth.

He cleared his throat and guided Kris safely through the rest of the cemetery to a marble bench in a small clearing. It was everyone’s favorite spot in the cemetery: the moonlight seemed to shine down right over the bench, giving everything a warm and eerie glow; the view of the house, Aunt Morticia’s covered garden, the echoes of glass breaking and mini explosions like birdsong, the squawk of the vultures in the distance in tune with the noise of the bugs that came out at night – so many lovely sounds; sounds that Adam missed from living in Los Angeles.

“Adam, do you—what is that!” Kris screamed, jumping away from him and pointing to something on Adam’s head.

“What?”

“THAT! THAT!”

 _Ohhhhhh._ He reached up to pluck Cleitus the Tarantula from his hair. He set him on top of a nearby headstone and smiled at Kris. “That’s Cleitus. He’s pretty harmless.”

Kris shivered and made a face. “Ugh. Spiders.”

Adam laughed. “You can talk about Communion and cannibalism, but you scream at spiders? Kris!”

He watched as Kris stared at Cleitus, keeping an eye on him as he walked towards Adam, gingerly sitting on the edge of the marble bench as if he was going to jump and run off any second now. Adam grabbed Kris’s hand and chuckled.

“Really, it’s okay, he won’t bother you.”

Kris sighed and scratched at the back of his neck, staring at the ground. “I…it’s kind of late. We should go inside.”

“Okay, I’ll show you the secret doorway into the dungeons.”

Adam realized that he was still holding Kris’s hand as they walked back towards the house, passing the garden, towards the back of the house by the swamp. There was a tall, marble tomb and Adam showed Kris the three places to push in revealing the mechanism that slid one wall of the tomb open.

A set of long stairs led to the underground. Adam was always surprised that no matter what time of day he and Neil used to run through the underground maze, there was always light under there but no light source, no light bulbs or fire. It was just…lit up.

“This is incredible,” Kris said, following Adam carefully down the narrow tunnel. “It’s amazing that the family has these secret passageways. From the outside, it doesn’t look like there’s anything but…this is so cool.”

Adam chuckled, opening the door to the dungeons. “I’m pretty sure that at some point these tunnels were created so that they could escape when the villagers came up here with their pitchforks, you know what I mean?”

Kris nodded, smiling a little as he closed the door behind him. Adam followed him to one of the dungeon cells and Kris stood by the door, giving him a shy smile. “This is my room.”

Adam peeked through the barred window, looking inside. He was surprised to see that the room looked warm and cozy. Someone had brought down carpets, black roses, and artwork to decorate the room for Kris – probably Aunt Morticia and Lurch – and there were candles everywhere. He looked along the wall and let out a pleased sound.

“Hey! So that’s where they put it,” he said, pointing to the bed frame with the metal spikes. “When I was a kid, that bed was my favorite!”

Kris opened the door and walked in, waving Adam inside. “When I first saw it, I thought it was some kind of torture device.”

“Of course it’s a torture device,” he said, laughing. “But the spikes feel so good when they dig into your back and shoulders.” He raised his hand and ran his fingers over the spikes, smiling longingly at them. He had a lot of great memories of being strapped down on the bed of spikes and Neil jumping up and down on his stomach. “It’s from the Spanish Inquisition, you know. Uncle Fester bought it at an estate auction in Barcelona when he was just a kid.”

“That’s…I don’t even have an answer.”

Adam took a deep breath and smiled, looking at Kris. “Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.”

Kris looked up at him and then broke out into a wide smile, snorting. He leaned towards Adam and patted his shoulder, his pretty face flushing a little at the cheeks. “Did you just quote Monty Python?” He giggled when Adam nodded. “You know, I really kind of like you.”

Adam gave him a shy smile. “I kind of like you, too.”

They looked at each other for a long moment – it was one of those silly romantic moments where Adam could’ve taken a step and ducked his head and leaned down to press his mouth against Kris’s lips – but he blinked and the moment was gone. Kris dropped his hand from Adam’s shoulder and took a step back, looking a little embarrassed and shy. He let out a soft cough. “So, I guess—“

“Yeah, it’s late—“

“Probably should hit the hay—“

“Need to catch up on my sleep—“

They looked at each other again and Adam nodded, walking into the hallway.

“So, good night, Adam.”

“Good night,” he said, smiling at Kris and closing the door behind him. “Scream if you need anything.”

He heard Kris’s snort and grinned to himself as he walked down the dungeon hallway.

For a moment there, he really thought Kris would’ve been open to getting kissed.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Adam sipped the special blend tea that Grandmama brewed – one part Asphodel and one part Valerian root with a pinch of fire ants for spice and toad’s feet. He held the dainty porcelain cup with his fingers, careful not to break it because he knew this was Aunt Morticia’s favorite set.

He watched as she tended to her black roses. The enclosed atrium was Aunt Morticia’s favorite room in the house. Lurch spent a lot of time helping her with the gardening, which Adam thought was kind of sweet. For someone who was over 7 feet tall, Lurch was the gentlest soul Adam had ever met in his life. He never really talked, but Adam thought Lurch could say a thousand things with just a look and a little growl. From just looking at him, no one would ever guess that Lurch was a poet and that he had penned a number of famous poetry over the decades under a pen name. Apparently, he was famous in Transylvania.

He set his tea cup down as Morticia clipped the large flower bulbs off the thorny stems. “Aunt Morticia, what does Kris do all day?”

“During the day, he entertains the children; and in the evenings, after dinner, he likes to tell us stories from his Black Book, particularly stories of the nice young man who was put on a cross and came back to life.”

“Black Book—ohhhhhhh, the Bible.”

“Yes.”

Adam smiled to himself. “And he’s not bored? Does he go out anywhere?”

“No, darling, he enjoys being in the house. Who wouldn’t? There’s so much to explore, so many places to get lost or trapped.”

True. When he was a kid, he could spend hours in the dungeons or even the underground rooms. He thought maybe he should take Kris out to explore the town, at the very least.

“He’s giving Pugsley guitar lessons,” she said, smiling sweetly. “I sometimes wish I pushed the children more into music and the arts and not just their studies. It’s wonderful to have Kristopher with us this summer. He’s a patient teacher. I don’t always understand his relationship with his God, but I respect that he reveres a being with such power and influence.”

He nodded and then smiled, shaking his head. “It’s pretty quiet around here. Where are they?”

Morticia glanced at Lurch and Lurch groaned, looking at the top of the ceiling and wiggling his eyebrows. “I believe they are in the attic playroom.”

Adam got up and chuckled. “Let me go rescue him before the screaming starts.”

Morticia laughed. “I do enjoy hearing screams.”

“Thank you for the tea, Lurch,” he said, waving his hand as he left the atrium to the main part of the house. He took the stairs three at a time and was only slightly winded by the time he reached the attic. He could hear the sound of Wednesday’s voice and Pugsley’s soft laughter as he walked to the door to the attic room.

He pushed the door open to see Kris gagged and tied up, wiggling on the wooden plank with his head through the hole of the guillotine. Pugsley was holding the rope that raised the guillotine blade. He thought Kris looked pretty horrified so he walked in and grabbed the rope from Pugsley’s hand.

“Hey! Cousin Adam! Come on!”

“Guys, you know he doesn’t understand that you’re just playing,” Adam admonished, looking at the children.

“But that’s what makes it so much fun,” Wednesday murmured, raising her eyebrow.

“He’s going to die of fright,” Adam said, tying the rope off to the side and gently pulling Kris away from the guillotine hole. “You all right?”

Kris mumbled something.

“Oh, yeah, let me, uh, untie you,” he said, chuckling a little as he untied the cloth gag from behind Kris’s head. He pulled it off gently and then untied the thick rope around his wrists, arms, legs, and ankles. “How did you get yourself into this, Kris?”

Kris stared at him with wide eyes. “They—they said it was a game.”

Adam laughed. “It is just a game. It’s harmless.”

“They’re trying to kill me,” he whispered, looking at Wednesday and Pugsley.

“They’re really not,” Adam said, stroking his hand down Kris’s head. He narrowed his eyes at Wednesday and Pugsley. “Right, kids?”

“Right.” Pugsley said, cheerfully.

Wednesday merely raised her eyebrow, a small smirk on her lips. “Whatever you say, Cousin Adam.”

“I…I can’t…this is…wow…” Kris started panting harshly. “Can’t…breathe…”

Adam helped him sit up and pushed him so that his forehead was nearly touching his knees. “Just breathe slowly, Kris, you’re all right. It was just a game.” He looked at the kids. “Ask Lurch to bring up some tea for us, please.”

“All right,” she said, looking at her brother. “Pugsley, let’s go see what Aristotle caught in the swamp.”

He sat down next to Kris and wrapped his arm around Kris’s shoulders, feeling him trembling. He grinned and pressed an affectionate kiss on his head. “Look, Kris, they wouldn’t have chopped your head off. It’s a game, you know…kind of like…kind of like playing chicken.”

Kris bit his lip and turned to look at him. “Chicken?”

“You’ve never played chicken before?” Adam chuckled and placed his hand on top of Kris’s leg. “Chicken?”

“What—“

Adam moved his hand up along Kris’s thigh, feeling the muscles bunch up and then relax under his hand. “Chicken?”

“Uh…” Kris stared at him with very wide brown eyes.

He playfully slid his hand even further up Kris’s thigh, the heat of Kris’s body making his ears buzz. “Chicken?”

Kris made a little squeal and grabbed Adam’s wrist, keeping his hand from moving. “Um. Wow. Okay?”

“Yeah, so they’re just playing chicken with you – well, not like what I was doing – but basically it’s just to psych you out to see if you’ll freak out on them,” Adam told him, moving his hand slowly away.

He was pleased to see that he had distracted Kris enough that he wasn’t pale and shaky anymore, but his cheeks were flushed a pretty red and he ducked his head, laughing softly to himself.

The door opened and Lurch came into the attic playroom carrying a silver tray with a pretty blue tea pot and two matching tea cups.

“Thank you, Lurch,” Adam said as Lurch placed the tea service on a nearby table.

Lurch gave him a look asking if he needed anything else.

“Nope, we’re good, Lurch. Thanks again. I’ll bring it downstairs when we’re done.”

Lurch smiled and gave him a little bow and turned to leave the room. Adam stood up and walked to the teapot, pouring both of them some of Grandmama’s fragrant tea. He handed a cup to Kris.

“Trust me, it’ll make you feel better,” he said as Kris stared at the small tea cup.

Kris sipped it and made a face. “Kind of bitter.”

“Do you want some sugar? Grandmama’s teas can be kind of strong, but they’ll make you feel so much better—oh, hello, Thing! I was wondering where you were!”

Kris screeched and scooted backwards on the floor, both of his hands clinging to his tea cup. “It’s a hand, Adam!”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Thing, that’s Kris Allen. Kris, this is Thing.”

“IT HAS A NAME?”

“Don’t be rude, of course _he_ has a name. Please don’t call him an ‘it’ – unless you’re referring to Cousin Itt.”

“What’s a Cousin Itt?”

“You’ll meet him soon enough,” Adam said, smiling. He reached down and shook Thing’s hand, enjoying the warmth and strength of him. “I guess you’ve been kind of shy and hiding if that’s Kris’s reaction to you.”

Thing signed: _I did not want to scare him. Thought it best to keep my distance._

Adam gave Kris a look. “He didn’t want to scare you…well…too late now.”

Kris winced and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry…Thing.”

Thing signed: _Tell him I said it was OK. I am used to that._

“He says it’s okay and he’s used to it.” He placed the bowl of sugar on the floor. “Would you pass that to Kris, please?”

Think jumped up on his fingertips and scooted the ceramic bowl across the floor to Kris. He even lifted the cover with his fingers for him.

Kris took a deep breath and smiled, reaching for the small spoon. He dumped four heaping spoonfuls into his tea cup and stirred his tea with the spoon. Thing placed the cover back on the bowl and held out his hand for the used spoon. Kris carefully placed the spoon in Thing’s palm.

“Thank you?”

Thing wiggled his pinkie at Kris and brought the used spoon to drop on the tray.

“So, um, Adam…who…who is Thing?”

Adam smiled. “He’s actually Uncle Gomez’s childhood friend. He was in a terrible accident and he died…but his hand still had some life in it and they say that his soul lives in his hand now, that’s how he’s able to move around and communicate.” He watched as Kris tried not to stare too hard at Thing. “Uncle Gomez didn’t want him to be alone so he invited Thing to come and live here.”

“But why doesn’t he use his name?”

“Oh, because he’s not a whole person anymore. He didn’t want us to call him by his name but we needed to call him something so Lurch suggested that we call him Thing,” he said, simply. “The name stuck.”

Thing moved closer to Kris and Adam watched as he held out his hand. Kris swallowed and nodded, reaching down to shake Thing’s hand.

“Sorry for, um, freaking out on you, Thing.”

Thing gave him the universal sign for OK and tapped his fingers on the floor. Adam was kind of relieved to know that Kris was going to accept Thing without too much drama.

“Your family…they’re…unique,” Kris murmured and drank down all of his tea in one go.

“Yeah,” Adam said, smiling. “I’m sure we take some getting used to.” He gave a little laugh. “I mean, we’re kind of creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky, you know, but we’re good people.” He sipped his tea and grinned. “We have a different sense of things, a real survival skill for things that might hurt most people, but we’re not evil.”

Kris looked at him and smiled. “I don’t think you’re evil.”

“Good,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I wouldn’t want you to dislike us.”

Kris scooted closer, a worried look on his face. “No, I don’t! I mean I do like you! I mean, all of you.”

“Okay,” he said, smiling at Kris. “Oh! Aunt Morticia and Uncle Gomez are throwing a big party this weekend. It’s supposed to be my welcome back party. I don’t suppose you have anything kind of dressy?”

Kris blinked a little and smiled, shaking his head. “Well, nothing formal.” He blinked again and then frowned, touching his forehead. “Adam, I feel—“

He dropped the teacup and Thing caught it. A second later, Kris tilted to the side and Adam ended up moving fast to catch him in his arms. Kris was passed out cold.

“Huh,” he said, looking over at Thing. “Oh shit, I should’ve told Lurch not to use the Valerian. I bet Kris’s never had Valerian root before.” He stroked Kris face and smiled. “Don’t you think he’s just the cutest guy you’ve ever seen, Thing?”

Thing signed: _He is very pretty. I have seen him in the shower. Everything looks big._

Adam snorted. “Everything looks big to you.” He raised his eyebrow. “And don’t be peeking on Kris in the shower anymore, that’s rude!”

Thing signed: _I did say that he was pretty, right?_

Adam had to agree. Kris was very pretty. He had unblemished skin and thick eyelashes and stubble on his chin. He liked the way Kris felt against him, so deceptively strong and well made for his size. He wasn’t that much shorter than Adam, but he was trim and made of lean muscles. He was perfect for Adam.

“Well, I guess I should take him back to his room to sleep off the Valerian root…”

***

The dungeons were too far for Adam to lug Kris around, so he decided to put Kris in his bedroom. He gently placed Kris on his bed and took off his sneakers. He and Thing pulled the comforter over him and tucked him in.

“He really is so cute,” Adam murmured, looking at him. “Do you think he’ll mind if I take a little nap with him?”

Thing signed: _You should stay on top of the covers. That is the gentlemanly thing to do._

Adam nodded. It was good advice. He kicked off his boots and got on top of the bed, staying close but not too close. He propped up his head with his hand and just watched Kris, listening to his steady breathing, his chest rising and falling. He placed his hand on top of the comforter covering Kris’s chest and then placed his head on his pillow. He kept his eyes opened for a moment, just enjoying Kris’s presence, and then closed his eyes, all of his senses focused on Kris.

He would just take a short nap. The Valerian root would probably keep Kris out for about six hours. There was no reason that Kris should be alone.

Adam let out a pleased sigh. He really missed this.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Kris turned out to be part octopus, all four of his limbs wrapped tight around Adam. He opened his eyes and smiled, taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Kris’s strawberry shampoo and warm male smell of his skin. It had been too long since Adam woke up to the feel of someone against him – and Kris fit against him perfectly. He sank back against the bed and closed his eyes, soaking up the heat of Kris’s body, his breath wafting against his neck, dampening his skin with warm moisture. Adam pulled his arms free and stifled a giggle when Kris made a sleepy moan of complaint, his arms slipping around Adam’s torso. Kris had kicked off the covers during their nap and rolled over to Adam on his side of the large bed, throwing his leg over Adam’s thighs, both arms somehow curled tight around him.

Adam tucked his hands under his head and smiled up at the ceiling. When Kris’s face moved into his armpit, Adam laughed to himself. It was all right, he knew he smelled good. He tried not to move when Kris’s breath tickled him. He wanted nothing more than to strip them both naked and wake Kris up with a long and slow blowjob. Hmmm…it was a sexy thought and different parts of Adam’s body really liked that idea. He was fairly certain that Kris would like the idea, too.

Dinner wasn’t for a couple more hours and Adam wasn’t in any hurry to wake Kris. In fact, he was going to just stay in bed with Kris and let the pretty boy snuggle him all he wanted.

“Mrghglsfh,” Kris gurgled, lifting his head to squint blearily up at Adam.

“Shhh, go back to sleep,” Adam crooned, stroking his hand over Kris’s head, tucking him in closer.

“Mmm-kay,” he mumbled, dropping his face against Adam’s shoulder this time and snoring lightly.

Adam chuckled, stroking his hand down Kris’s firm back. There was definitely muscle under the comfortable tee-shirt and ugly plaid. He closed his eyes and placed his cheek on top of Kris’s head and let out a breathy sigh. He knew he wouldn’t be able to have this, but he really wished he could keep Kris.

***

Adam sat with Lurch on the organ, singing along to some of the old family songs, and laughing over old memories of Adam dressing up in Uncle Gomez’s clothes and putting on shows.

“You really should go on tour with me,” he said, leaning against Lurch. “I seriously think adding an organ to some of my songs will improve it – not to mention you being all tall, dark, and mysterious, you’d totally fit in with the show.”

Lurch smiled and let out a low, mirthful growl.

Adam threw back his head and laughed. “No, you’re right, the family probably wouldn’t know what to do without you. Come on, I want you to play ‘If I Had You’ again. I love your version of it.”

He watched avidly as Lurch stretched his long fingers on the organ keys and began to play a sultry, operatic version of his song and Adam nodded his head to the half beat, singing along, both of them getting lost in the music.

“Ah, Kristopher, you’re awake!” Gomez announced, grinning at him.

Adam stopped singing and turned his head to see Kris looking sleep ruffled, his hair still sticking up in a few areas, even though it looked like he made an attempt to brush down some of the unruly strands. Kris blushed as he smiled.

“I’m sorry for missing dinner,” he said, walking into the room.

“We saved you some food in the kitchens, my dear,” Morticia said as she worked on her knitting.

“Come on, I’ll take you,” Adam said, getting up and then patting Lurch on the shoulder. “Thanks, big guy.”

Lurch growled his pleasure and Adam led Kris out of the living room and into the hallway.

“I bet you must be pretty hungry.”

Kris sighed, running his hand over his head. “I…woke up in your bed?”

“Well, I didn’t want to leave you in the attic and you may look deceptively tiny but I could only get you as far as my room. Thing even had to help carry you,” he said, smiling at Kris. “Sorry about the tea; I mean, Grandmama’s special blend teas are pretty potent. All of us have a tolerance for the herbs that she uses. It was the Valerian root that made you pass out. So, yeah, I’m sorry for not warning you.”

“It’s okay, no harm done,” he said, taking a deep breath. “OH!”

Adam stopped as he turned to see Kris looking pale, his eyes wide as he stared across the kitchen. He turned to see what had shocked Kris and smiled. “Oh, that’s just Kitty Cat.”

The lion roared at them before turning to his food bowl.

“That’s—that’s a lion, Adam.”

“Yeah, he’s okay,” Adam said, taking Kris by the shoulders and gently pushing him towards the table. “Kitty Cat usually stays in the sub-basement and guards the family safe.”

The lion roared again, tearing into his hank of meat. Kris gulped.

“Just sit right there and I’ll get you dinner, okay?”

“Okay?”

He stroked the back of Kris’s neck and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Kitty Cat’s never attacked anyone so you’re pretty safe – just as long as you don’t try to go to the family safe without Uncle Gomez or Uncle Fester.” Adam pulled down some plates and utensils and then found all the food from dinner stored in various places. He came back to the table and set the plates and fork and knife in front of Kris, who was still looking kind of shocked and staring at Kitty Cat.

“Oh! I forgot! What do you want to drink?”

“Water?”

“Coming right up!” Adam hopped up from the bench seats and passed Kitty Cat who turned to stare up at him. “Hey Kitty. Good Kitty.”

The lion gave him a warm grumble and Adam fought the urge to get on the ground and wrestle with the lion. He didn’t think Kris was ready to see that yet. He wouldn’t understand that Kitty Cat was just playing.

He came back to the table with two glasses of water and sat across from Kris.

“I’ll just nibble on some of your food,” he said when Kris looked at the empty space in front of him.

“Sure,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Let me just, uh, you know, pray.”

“Okay.”

He watched as Kris closed his eyes and ducked his head, flinching slightly when Kitty Cat gave a happy and sated roar of approval of his now finished dinner. Adam watched as Kitty Cat sauntered towards them, his tail swishing slightly in mischief. Adam narrowed his eyes at the lion and shook his head, trying to tell him to play nice with Kris. The lion shook his large head, his thick mane swaying around his face, and Adam gave him a firm look telling him no. Kitty Cat gave a somber little cry and backed off as Kris ended his prayer. Adam smiled at him.

“Don’t make sudden movements. Kitty Cat’s right next to you.”

Kris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He turned to look at the lion who was staring back at him intently. “Hi. Kitty Cat.”

The lion gave a soft purr and pushed his head against Kris’s arm.

“You can scratch him behind his ears. He likes that.”

Kris swallowed and slowly raised his hand, moving towards Kitty Cat’s head. He dropped his fingers gently into his mane and began to scratch the lion’s head. Kitty Cat closed his eyes and gave a loud, rumbling purr, nudging enthusiastically closer to Kris and nearly knocking him off his seat.

Kris laughed, his fear forgotten as the playful lion purr-growled and rubbed his head against Kris’s chest, wanting more of his scratches and attention. “Hey Kitty Cat. You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

Adam grinned, watching the pretty boy with the fierce lion.

“All right, that’s enough, Kitty Cat. Let Kris eat his dinner in peace.”

The lion gave a mournful growl but eased away, his big feet padding along the stone floor towards the stairs leading to the sub-basements.

Kris was flushed with warmth, his smile wide and brown eyes bright with happiness. “Wow. I’ve never been that close to a lion before. He was really sweet.”

“See, I told you,” Adam said, leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. “Don’t judge a book by its fierce cover.”

Kris choked out a laugh as he looked up at Adam. “You’re right.” Adam watched as Kris started eating. “This is really good.”

“You should tell Grandmama if you have any favorite dishes. She’ll be so happy to make them,” he said, reaching over to snag a piece of chicken from Kris’s plate.

Kris smiled. “Well, I do miss some foods but I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Come on, you’re like part of the family already. They love you,” Adam said, chuckling. “Even the family lion likes you.”

He was really pleased to see Kris smile to himself, his cheeks turning slightly pink. Adam knew it was true that the Addams family really did love Kris, that they had accepted him just as easily as Kris accepted them. Adam knew that everyone found Kris a little odd and quirky, too, but he was such a good sport and he didn’t try to change anyone or anything. He knew that Uncle Gomez didn’t suffer fools, no matter his sweet and cheerful demeanor, and when angered, Uncle Gomez knew how to protect his family. So if he gave Kris the Gomez Addams stamp of approval, it was pretty much a done deal. Kris was family.

“I heard you singing,” Kris said, looking up at him. “I mean, of course I knew that you are ‘Adam Lambert’ the singer…but it’s one thing to see you at a concert and another to hear you singing in your living room.” He made a face. “Not that I’m trying to be all weird or nothing. I mean—“

Adam chuckled, shaking his head. Kris was really too adorable for words.

“It’s kind of the reason why I’m here,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I just needed a place to go where people treated me like I was normal –“ He barked out a laugh. “—well, normal for me anyway. I guess that’s why I’ve been hiding out here for the summer.”

Kris nodded solemnly. “Do you not want me to talk about—“

“No, no, I didn’t mean you,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m kind of thrilled that you’re a fan.” He gave Kris a long look. “I mean, you are a fan, right? I shouldn’t automatically think that—“

“No, no, I _am_ a fan,” Kris said, laughing slightly. He cleared his throat and stared at his plate. “I mean, I love your music. Whenever I hear it on the radio, I turn it up and I…I love listening to your voice, it’s pretty unreal.”

“Thank you.” Adam knew he was smiling like a total dork, but he was so really happy that Kris liked his music. He was bouncing inside and the teenager inside of him was doing karate moves and shouting “yeehaw, he likes my music!” at the top of his lungs. “So…do you want an autograph?”

The fork froze in Kris’s mouth and he turned wide brown eyes towards Adam. He stared at Kris, holding a deadpan serious expression on his face, but Kris rolled his eyes and let out a soft chuckle, blushing even more. “Shut up, man.”

***

Adam wandered down to the dungeons and poked his head into Kris’s room. He saw the younger man sitting against the headboard, a thick leather bound notebook opened on his lap. He was wearing black framed glasses and looked utterly adorable as he chewed on his lip and wrote quickly in his notebook.

“Hey! I was just wondering if you’d like to go into town,” Adam said, smiling at Kris.

Kris closed his notebook and dropped it on the bed. “Yes! I would love to go into town. I need to get a few things.”

“Cabin fever?”

“I mean, every day is a new adventure in the house but…”

“Me, too.” He watched as Kris got off the bed and grabbed his wallet from the bedside table. “Westfield’s not anything exciting, but we could get something to eat or watch a movie.”

Kris walked towards him, raising his eyebrows above the rim of his glasses. “Is this a date?”

“What? Date? Ummm…”

Kris laughed, patting him on his shoulder. “Dude, I was just kidding.”

“You know, it’s not nice to tease.”

He watched as Kris gave him a crooked smile and Adam resisted the urge to grab him by the shoulders and press him against the wall to kiss that crooked little mouth.

They walked down the narrow dungeon hallway towards the stairs to the main floors of the house.

“Hey Wednesday,” Kris murmured, smiling slightly.

Adam smirked, seeing Wednesday disguised like part of the dungeon wall, her eyes opening as they walked past her. “Stalking, kiddo?”

“She’s a cool kid,” Kris commented as they walked up the spiral staircase.

“I think she’s got a little crush on you.”

“Well, that explains the, uh, dark poetry that was left outside my room,” he said, grinning slightly. “Though I have to say that she could probably do really well writing music for goth rockers.”

Adam threw back his head and laughed, curling his arm around Kris’s shoulders as they made their way to the front door. “Really, you’re unreal, Kris Allen.”

TBC...


End file.
